I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
