are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Randomize
