I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
