I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
