R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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