hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
