Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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