Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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