i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
