I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I lost the right to judge tonight
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Omg I joined a choir last night...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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