I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
