Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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