just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She told me I should be a condom model.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
