LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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