i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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