i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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