Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
