i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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