You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize