I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
3pm strippers are depressing
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
