i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
