Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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