giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
