Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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