I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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