Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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