apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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