What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
