In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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