Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
