5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
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