do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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