i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
