Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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