i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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