i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize