id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Randomize
