oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
my shit smells like andre
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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