you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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