Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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