forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
