So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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