i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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