I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
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