Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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