i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Houston, we have a squirter
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
