But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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