She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
