You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize