yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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