Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
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