ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
