I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Help me help you realize you are a moron
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
