How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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