pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
True college students do jello shots in the library
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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