You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We just shotgunned beers for America
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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