I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
