I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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