why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
