I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
