There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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